To Me
by NatureG45
Summary: Stars are beyond our reach, as are the Gods, so how different are they really? Maybe a humble human can teach the truth. God AU


_**. . . . . .when. . have no idea how long i've stared at this fic trying to get it finished and finally it's done.**_

 _ **Do i know what it is? I dunno some sort of God AU I guess. Am i proud of it? Heck yes.**_

 _ **Do I want you peeps to enjoy this madness? Please do! And thank you!**_

"What are stars to you?"

Natsu's eyes flashed over to the priestess sitting next to him on the grass. Her legs were pulled close to her chest and eyes stared unblinking at the twinkling spots of light in the sky. Her expression was unreadable as he watched her.

"I don't understand what you mean." he replied, rather blunt." Stars are stars, there's nothing else to them."

"But you're a God, you live among them. Haven't you ever wondered that there might be more to them?"

"No. My life has been nothing but overcoming trial after trial, I never had the time to think about things like that."

She hummed softly in agreement, she should know. Everyone knew about his life,after all he was a god of war, one of the patron deities of the kingdom Alvarez alongside his brother Zeref, god of chaos. His tale was one taught all around the world and everyone,-young and old-knew it well.

Natsu was born when his brother ruled all. Madness had spread to every corner of heaven and earth, tainting all it touched. The one goddess that stood before Zeref-Mavis- was weakened and could no longer cleanse what he had made impure. She fled, vowing to stop him when her strength returned.

Zeref controlled all and madness ruled for centuries.

Over time however he grew bored, perhaps tired of his absolute power and from his twisted mind produced a way to relieve himself of such a thing. He created a weapon from his own godly flesh to seek out and kill the only thing that ever got away from him.

And knowing nothing else, Natsu followed without question.

All that stood in his path went up in flames with only ashes and smoking earth remaining. He was relentless in his search, because all was for his brother, right?

Nothing else mattered.

But as time wore on that thought seemed strange as he began to question his orders and the more he questioned, the more Zeref's displeasure with his failures slowly grew to an uncontrollable rage. The slight amusement his destruction gave his brother could do nothing to protect Natsu from his wrath.

He was tossed aside like the pawn Zeref saw him as and left to rot on the very earth he had scorched while new soldiers were created, sent to finish the task that he was unable to carry out.

It was then, that fate's cruel irony had allowed him to find Mavis.

But her capture had been the furthest from his mind.

Time had returned some of the goddess's strength but even so, Natsu could have easily taken her out with one strike. And yet he didn't. He couldn't do it, not when he was so conflicted.

She was tense when he first appeared, her stance rigid as she prepared for a fight that never came.

He crumpled to the ground with an anguished cry, his energy gone from trying to keep his tumultuous thoughts in check.

Mavis lowered her guard almost instantly and approached with caution,nerves on edge. The caution however, was gone when she caught a proper look at him. Even passed out on the cold earth his eyes were wide open,and within their depths she could see that his entire world had been shattered.

Her heart clenched. Never before had she seen such a look on a creature's face and despite him being an enemy, she didn't have it in her to allow such suffering.

Days, weeks, maybe even months had passed before he regained consciousness. His thoughts were calm upon awakening but the confusion was still strong.

And that was when the goddess spoke to him for the first time.

Her words were firm and carefully chosen, as if she wasn't quite sure what to make of him yet. Though there was something to it that intrigued him, Zeref never spoke like this.

He listened, with most of what she said being lost on him but he perked when a topic was mentioned. _The downfall of Zeref_. He stiffened at the term and his troubled thoughts rose once more.

The goddess regarded him with expectant eyes, she didn't say anything more. He could see that she desired his help with such a task. He had just awoken and already she was asking him to make a choice- become her ally and rid the world of his brother or stay an enemy and go back to Zeref.

He wanted to say ' _no_ ', his loyalty belonged to only Zeref but he knew that he could never return to what he knew. Reluctantly, Natsu agreed.

Their progress had been slow. Retreat was all they knew when they began their assault on his minions. Mavis still had strength to recover and Natsu's loyalty remained, it made their strikes weak but they pushed forth regardless of the bumps in the road.

Slowly but surely their attacks gained strength over time and with each enemy felled, Natsu felt changes within himself.

Changes that allowed him to see what he used to be in the blank eyes of the pawns he took down and made his previous loyalty dwindle. He was sure Mavis noticed but she said nothing.

Finally, the gates of heaven stood before them. Only one more enemy to take down to make things right. For the gods it lasted hours. For those on earth, nature raged out of control for days as immortals fought where they could not see.

But the destruction was necessary.

When the final blow was struck Zeref lost his form, reduced to the purest godly essence and dispersed to the world's corners. Alive but not really, most likely to never reform again. Human stories spoke of celebrations after such a victory but Natsu knew otherwise. The world had to be rebuilt and order restored.

A task not easy for two gods, yet thankfully mortal desires birthed comrades-or at the very least non-enemies, to aide.

He let out a heavy breath at his reminiscing, dropping back on the grass next to his strewn armor with a grunt. Centuries ago and still he remembered everything, fresh like a wound.

And it wasn't much to remember, before and after. Fight, rebuild, fight, rebuild. Receive a few offerings and prayers in between, fight, rebuild. A pattern repeated over and over that he never saw breaking. That's why she was so unusual to him.

"So do my ears deceive me? A god without answers? Just wait until your followers hear this." She flashed him a teasing smirk with a soft laugh, joining him on the grass to face the night sky. For someone wearing robes of soft blues and whites Lucy was no stranger to dirt.

"War God." Natsu corrected tapping the gold bracer on his arm. " If you want knowledge make an offering to Mavis. I'm sure she'll get to it eventually. She likes sweets."

She playfully slapped his shoulder. "Still a god. Shouldn't you have the basic knowledge to answer all mortal questions, or is that just another myth like you being able to breathe fire?"

Natsu snorted, slinging his arm across her middle. Lucy huffed in surprise at the weight shooting him a weak glare for his antics. He retaliated with a snarky grin.

"No to the first yes to the second." He said. "I've had no reason to breathe fire around you." "When that happens then i will believe it but for now let me humor you."

"A priestess teaching a god something new." He chuckled. "Something seems off about that."

"Oh shush, and let me tell you how _I_ see the stars."

Lucy's hand snaked down, grabbing his to carefully and deliberately twining her fingers with his, slight awe crossing her face. He felt so warm,so human. Sometimes she forgot they were different-his blood gold and hers red.

"They're everything." She said simply, raising their hands to the sky. They started at one then moved to another, connecting dots and tracing patterns that Natsu didn't quite see. But the certainty with which Lucy moved kept him silent in fascination.

"They're older than our world, yet somehow refreshingly new. To me they represent things everyone wants-beauty,power,mystery, the chance to shine- and the more people strive for them the further they slip out of reach. It's a never ending chase between people and stars, even the most proud won't admit they hunt down those little spots."

"Have you chased them?" Natsu curiously asked. "I can't remember when I didn't. They have something I long for but for the life of me I could never figure out what."

She jerked his hand to the next star, pulling the moon into a lazily drawn circle. His eyebrows furrowed glaring at the stars in confusion. He knew the feeling, it haunts him the few moments of calm in his long life.

Suddenly Lucy snickered beside him, snapping his attention to her face. "What's so funny?"

"I make them sound like gods, the stars." She laughed quietly. "Bright, beautiful, heavenly. Always out of reach. Sounds like a god to me, wouldn't you say?"

He paused for a moment before answering. "Humans see us differently than we ourselves. We aren't all like what the legends say."

"Is that a no?" "Maybe."

"So what humans think of our gods isn't all that correct." Lucy mused, "The other priests would condemn me to hellfire if they heard such things."

Natsu snorted at her words. "I control hellfires too. They couldn't even if they wanted to." "Well now I know I'm safe when I screech it to their faces. Thank you."

She rolled on her side facing him with a grunt, popping her shoulder satisfyingly to wriggle comfortably into her flattened patch of grass and to his side, seeking warmth as the night winds grew chill.

"So riddle me this, _my god_ ," She murmured, "Which would you rather be- a human god or a star?"

"What humans want of a god is, too much work for someone like me. I've been an actual god for years and still I can't match those expectations, and a star….." His eyes slid over to Lucy, smile wry.

"Your description was vague." "Rude." She retorted. "Very rude."

"But still I liked it." Lucy raised a brow. "So you'd rather be a star?"

"No."He replied simply, raising her hand to his lips, pressing a light kiss to her knuckle. It sent sparks of warmth down her hand. "I think i'll stay the odd one out, neither suits me best. And besides, I don't need to be a star when have one already."

"And where is this star Natsu?" Her voice was barely even a whisper, yet he caught the faint breath as it floated in the air. He held her gaze steadily.

"The earth. Hidden in a place no one thought a star would be, but she 's how she is. At least to me."

 _ **please no one ask me to continue this, it literally took me 3 years to finish this and i am quite ashamed of that.**_


End file.
